he wants to bone in the snuggie
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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