it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize