a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
