i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
