can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
