Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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