i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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