After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
