I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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