Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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