Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
