I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
