my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
