Define "chronic" masturbator.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
