you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
