haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
