Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
