real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
