Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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