Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
