Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
