to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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