sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
