I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We left an ass print on the piano.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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