Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
