So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
a search helicopter?!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
