I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
