Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
