what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
