I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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