If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
