no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
