i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
