what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
