Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
