is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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