I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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