If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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