Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
