He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
