There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
