i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
