Just cropdusted the office
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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