Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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