I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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