oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
