check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
