i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
