I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
my sisters under your porch take her home
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
