I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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