Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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